Why your limitations CAGE YOU IN. This is how you grow beyond your cage…
How stuck are you?
How many times a day do you ask yourself, “HOW did I get here?”
Is the reality of your life heavy?
Do you struggle with relationships, your job, making money, losing weight?
Do you feel like no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, the results stay the same?
You leave a job to find yourself in the next job, still unhappy and unfulfilled…
You leave the abusive relationship to jump into another relationship still polluted with abuse?
HOW does life keep showing up the same, no matter how much you change the denominator???
Why does depression and anxiety fill your days? Where is the joy, happiness and fulfillment? Why do they seem like a fairytale and completely unattainable?
Do you find that with each step you take, and each new action that you make, you keep hitting a wall?
Do you keep trying, but every time you try, you find that you keep running into a corner with no direct plan on how to move forward?
These experiences are directly related to your limitations. Those walls, that corner you are backed into, are all governed by your limitations.
Most of you know this. You are well aware of the limits you live within.
Everyone is aware of where they lack in life. But, are you aware that you are actually fighting for your limitations?
One of my favorite quotes is “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours” by Richard Bach.
Who argues for their limitations?
At least, I am sure that is the question rolling through your mind. But, you would be surprised to see that instead of trying to fight and break through our limitations, we instead argue to keep them.
We all think that our limitations are real.
We think they are real, because they have been around for as long as we can remember. These are beliefs that we actually say are TRUE.
Why do we say they are true? Probably because we have been told our whole lives, that THIS is how we are, or this way of being is the only way we could ever be. We have experiences in our lives that are filled with pain. There is trauma that happens to us that changes the filter in which we see life. As each trial,heartache, upset and brokenness occurs, we begin to pile up our limitations one block at a time. Until soon, we have caged ourselves in, living a life that is governed and bordered with all of these limitations.
Here’s a great example that will help you begin to see the limitations that rule your life, and more so HOW you argue for them.
Let’s say you are horrible at math. You don’t understand math, it frustrates you, and no matter how hard you try to make the numbers work; your brain just shuts down. Now what if someone came up to you and said, “I believe you are going to be amazing at math!” How do you think you would respond? One possible answer would be to say, “Thank you! I believe I will be good at math one day! I appreciate your belief in me!”
But most likely you would not respond that way. There is a better chance that your response would sound like this; “Are you kidding me? I failed my sophomore year of math! I am so horrible at math! I can show you right here, right now how I can’t even solve a simple equation without a calculator!”
Does this sound familiar?
This is how most of us would respond in this kind of situation.
And that experience is just a quick look into how we argue for our limitations.
When our limitations are challenged and questioned, we will fight to prove that they are true! We will give example after example to show that we indeed can NOT do those things.
We fight for them because we really think they are set into stone. The belief is so strong that any idea outside of this limitation seems to break the ground that has held us up.
Can you begin to see yourself in this?
Can you begin to see how you have fought for your limitations, and how they have caged you in?
Let’s look at another example. I love examples because they allow you to put the story through your mind. As you hear the examples, it allows you to see how this occurs for you in your life.
What if you wanted to start a business? The idea comes for your business and you start to work on making this dream happen.
But before you know it, you hit your walls of limitations. You begin to remind yourself that you have never done this before. The thoughts start rolling in, telling you that you didn’t major in business management. The list is long of why you can’t succeed. Each step forward that you take, you fall backwards 10 more feet because of all the thoughts that began to show up.
And not only are you seeing the limitations, but you are arguing to yourself for them! Over and over you prove to yourself why you can’t do what the inspiration has invited you to do.
Situations from your past begin to run through your mind, proving each time that these limiting beliefs are true.
Each time you listen to these beliefs, you make the prison that holds you in, stronger and stronger.
Slowly these limitations begin to cage you in, preventing any sort of growth or change.
This is the experience you have of running into walls, and getting stuck into corners.
The first step to finding freedom from these limiting beliefs is; KNOW THEM!
HOW do you find your limitations?
If they are so familiar and so comfortable, they are most likely unknown to you.
1.First start to write out all the things you are bad at. Everything you say you can’t do.
This is the backwards and easiest way to see what limits you.
2. Examine these things you say you are bad at, and see if they are true. This one is tricky. It’s tricky, because as you name the things you are bad at, you will have plenty of experiences to prove that the limiting beliefs are true! BUT, I want you look at these as IF they could be changed. These are not solid and set in stone in your life.
Start waking up to the reality that these limitations could indeed change!
3. Believe in something different. Start to open your eyes to the idea that these limitations are not really yours! And if you would stop arguing for them, there might be a real opportunity for growth. A large oak tree starts out as a simple, small seed. All you need for that tree in the beginning is the seed. That is what this belief is for you. Let yourself have a tiny seed of belief that you can and will live beyond these limitations.
Napoleon Hill writes, “You are the master of your own destiny. You can influence, direct and control your own environment. You can make your life what you want it to be.”
As we read these words combined with this new realization that we are indeed arguing for our limitations; a moment of clarity arises. Can you begin to see that maybe you have created the limitations that you live within?
Yuck.
That idea can leave you in a place of being uncomfortable and also maybe angry. Angry at me?
Ya, maybe.
Angry that it might be true? Yes, probably.
The quote says “we are the master of our own destiny.” And that we can influence and direct our environment to create the life we want. If this is true, which I believe it is; what do we have to stop doing?
We have to stop arguing for our crap! We have to stop believing in the limitations that have held in our greatness.
Which leads us to
4. STOP ARGUING FOR YOUR CRAP.
Stop proving to yourself and everyone else around you that you are limited! Stop rolling those thoughts through your head and believing them!! Now that you see them, and hear them, STOP them.
I want you to imagine that you are driving through road work. As you drive your car, you notice that they’ve placed those orange cones on either side of the lane. You and everyone else are asked to stay within those cones.
I always find myself laughing as I drive through those orange cones. They place those cones in such a way that I feel ridiculous driving. It seems as though they have a video camera up and are just watching all of us drive our cars like mice through a maze. We drive weird little twists and turns and sometimes we end up driving on the wrong side of the road! But, we do it. We do it because it is the law. But, we really do it because we see the border the cones make, and we stay inside.
Imagine that we have the same orange cones bordering our creative spirits. And every time we step into doing something great, we hit these orange cones. And out of complete habit, we fall back within the borders of our limitations.
How many times do you find yourself trying new things? How often do you take new actions and strive to be greater than you are? And then, each time you hit something emotionally or mentally and fall back into place?
For example- let’s say you had an idea pop into your head. It could be as small as creating a book club all the way to starting a new business. Any NEW idea…
At first you can feel the excitement and joy the inspiration brings you. But as you start to move forward towards bringing this idea into reality, you hit your orange cones. And as you hit them, you remember why you can’t try new things. Those orange cones sound something like this; “I don’t have enough time. I’m not good enough. I don’t have the skills needed. I don’t have the money. I’m not smart enough. No one will like my idea. No one will join my book club” and so on. The list of these cones and the voices they play in our life can really be endless and relentless.
Within minutes, or days of starting to bring this inspiration into reality, all of your limitations show up. And sadly, all the inspiration that came, has been doused. The fire that began to burn in your heart, is now gone. You resume back to normalcy.
A little bummed out, but this was to be expected, or so you tell yourself.
I believe that each one of us has a deep level of greatness that is just outside the border of our limitations. Once we can began to tap into it, our border can begin to grow and make room.
But, because those cones have been there for so long, the experience of growing beyond your border can and most likely be very uncomfortable.
It will be as if you are trying to walk backwards or write with the opposite hand than normal.
You have lived within your limitations for so long and you have been arguing for them even longer. So, breaking through them will feel uneasy, and even scary.
Every time you challenge your limitations, you will be pushed up against the end of your current shape. And when you get there, you will want to stop. Because this is where you have always stopped before. Growing beyond your shape will feel like you are breaking the rules. And the scary part is, you don’t know the rules or boundaries beyond your shape. So fear stops you. It stops you because it is unknown territory.
But keep pushing.
What will push you is the inspiration you received. The joy and light that came from that inspiration. The hope and excitement that showed up with this idea.
And the more you push forward, your shape will push forward. It will begin to create a new shape. A shape without boundaries or rules. One that instead of being rigid and defined, it flows and ebbs like the ocean tide. Moving and growing with each new day.
This is progress.
This is living.
And more importantly, this is when you will begin to live inside your greatness.
You might be saying that you don’t want to live within your greatness. Life is just fine how it is.
I beg to differ.
Because life isn’t fine how it is. You know that there is more. You know that you have more inside of you to give.
Also, living within your greatness will not only touch your life but every single person who is connected to you. You see, when someone breaks out of the mold of their limitations, it starts to crack everyone else’s molds. And if there is anything in this world that we would want to be contagious, it would be THIS! Inspiring others to live beyond their limitations. Giving others the space to be seen and heard for their greatness.
But it begins with you.
Looking inside of yourself. Awaking to the limitations that have been the orange cones of your life. These cones that have been holding your current shape for far too long.
Be courageous and step into the unknown.
Allowing your shape to shift and flow into the next shape. The one that doesn’t hold you back but contributes to your growth.
But the shape that will allow your greatness to be called forth.
Be that.
For you.
And for everyone.
CALL TO ACTION:
I believe that stepping into our greatness takes immense courage and fearlessness. To attain that courage, we must be willing to look at our pain and decide to heal. In my new book, “The Hidden Gifts Within the Trauma of Sexual Abuse,” I teach the principles I learned in healing from pain and deciding to wake up to my greatness. I’d love to give you the first chapter of my book for free. Click here to receive your free chapter!
If you want more… follow along with me on Instagram at Keira Poulsen
